It's suffocated, u know!

aaarrgghh..i don't know why I felt so suffocated right now. x sedap hati gila. entah kenapa..
Ya Allah, I hope nothing's bad happen. 

Today is my first day attachment for foodservice. Punya la neves sebab hotak mmg blur bab2 foodservice. clinical pon fail. apa la skill yg aku ada sebenarnya. 

One word. Agak STRESS ye di sini. I didn't expect that I will still handle clinical here instead of foodservice alone. Aku baru daydreaming nak enjoy sebab hanya "foodservice". No need to use hotak, just use keringat. tapi, what will happened we never know. sob, sob..

Dah la ketua jabatan mmg sgt baik dgn member aku yg attach kat sini before. Jeles melihat org yg pandai bergaul dan rapat dgn org lain. sedangkan aku, susah sgt nk mesra dgn org. urgh..stress di situ. 

Dah la skill clinical x tip top jugak. tension bila akan di compare kan dgn org lain. Mereka best student, while I'm not. 

Sorry to say that I didn't like how lecturer or whoever that assigned us for our placement for food service. Nampak sgt cam discrimination. Yes, I know that I'm not the best....

Sedih bila memikirkan..aku sgt berharap aku boleh jadi positive person. Bila kat depan org, aku yg galakkan mereka be positive. But, instead in my mind..it was really damn hard to be a positive person. Yes, it was one of the reason why I felt really suffocated right now. Feel like crying but there's no tears. "Open your mind" But, I don't know on how to open my mind. Enjoy the practical life. But, I don't know the exact way to enjoy it. Do not compare our self with others. But, people still keep comparing us with others. 

"Don't be stress. Just go on with your life. No matter how good you're perform..no matter how best your placement was. Once you graduated later, only luck and rezeki from Allah that will make your different from others" - Super super senior.