okes. hari ni my partner, SH namanya..sama-sama praktikal ngn gua kt HSNZ. dia dok la mengadu yg dia sgt stress bila dikomen oleh dietitian. Okeh. ak xbole ckp byk, so ak just dgr dan mencelah sikit2 je. sebab, bukan dia je yg penah experience benda tu. ak pon penah. sampai nk menangis pon ada.
nak kata dietitian xkomen ak, ada jugak. belambak. tapi, yg hairannya satu pon xmasok dlm kepala hotak ak ni. Maybe teguran yg dilemparkan xberapa nk keras or mungkin kah hati ak dah jadi hati batu??? entah. pikir la sendiri. Ak rasa dietitian kat sini semua baik. Dorang ada la tegor, tp ak amek semua tu sebagai komen yg membina. maybe sebab tu la ak x terasa sgt bila ditegor.
ak sedar yang ak still lacking especially counseling part. Masa first2 ikot Puan A, ak maen selamba je counsel diabetic patient without using CHO counting or pamphlet. apa yg ak guna hanya lah air liuq ak yg xbapa nk berharga ni. haha. sebab, time ak praktikal kt HKB dulu, dietitian ak penah cakap "Kita dietitian ni, xde pape pon nk ditawarkan untuk patient, kecuali air liur kita" HeHe. sebab tu la ak guna je air liur ak ni. Energy requirement for patient pon ak xkira. Bila dah habes jumpa patient baru kira. So, kerja ak quite senang la time kat KB dulu. xpayah nk menggelabah kira2 energy intake & requirement. buat kalut je. But then, bila datang HSNZ..a lot of new things ak belajar. Puan A ajar MESTI kena kira energy intake patient and educate them on CHO counting. Time tu, ak mesti menggelabah. mana nk kira energy requirement, mana nk tnya diet intke, nak kira lagi..haha..lama-kelamaan ok la.not so bad. xde la lama sgt ak amek masa nk kira semua tu. First time counsel, memang berterabur. ak pon frust dgn diri sendiri. Puan A ada bagi nasihat dan teguran. So, ak improve myself with that. Alhamdulillah, at the end of the attachment with her, she said she can see an improvement from me. :) Actually that's what I want to hear. Not that, I AM THE BEST or what. Just a good improvement is enough for me. But, she kept commenting on my unclear voice. Haha. I also don't realize that. LOL~
Bila ikot Puan M, yes..ak sgt takot actually dgn dia. Sebab dietitian lain penah cerita yg dia sgt garang dgn student. Oh ho. Mati seyh ak. Dah la ak ni lembab, pemalas xsoh kata la. HeHe. Accidentally, she incharged for renal ward. Ok. Ak angkat tgn awal2 kalau bab renal ni. ak memang la sgt lemah. Kaunseling hari first, ak copy paste je style dia. HaHa. sampai dia tegor, "haih, saya tgk awak tiru style saya je, xmau..saya nk tgk awak guna style awak sendiri" Yes. Memang pon. sebab ak risau kalau ak guna style ak, kucar kacir la jawabnya. She really talk to me direct that I'm still weak with the counseling part. Actually, ak nk je nangis bila dgr mcm tu. HoHO. tapi, ak tahan je. tapi, dia selalu ckp "yela, awak kan still student..memang la xmahir lagi bab2 kaunseling..banyakkan membaca, luaskan pandangan" ak xtahu la kenapa dia baek sgt sedangkan dgn student yg lama dia sgt garang. adakah muka ak ni mcm muka mintak simpati??HaHa. Tapi, the one thing I can't resist when she said my documentation was good. HeHe. Dalam hati...yeeeeehaaaaaw! at least, ad la something yg good. kah3..
Sekarang, ak ikot Cik B. Wow! Surgical ward. really crowded with patient. sampai ak xde masa nk berehat lgsg. Lepas naik ward, kena buat notes. Then, log book pon xsempat nk buat. Mati la. minggu ni dah minggu last. I have missed about 1 month for logbook. Pemalas tahap dewa beb. sekarang baru gua menyesal. rasa nk hentak2 je kepala ni ke dinding bagi berkecai.. oops~over!
Bila attach dgn Cik B, fuiyoh~byk yg belajar..tentang Ryle's Tube feeding. First time jugak ak rasa nk pengsan bila tgk patient yg dgn jahitan kat kepala, berdarah..semangat ak lemah gila wooo bila masok surgical ward ni. ada yg patah kaki sebab MVA, cancer la.. ak tunduk je bila masok ward ni sbb ak memang xbole tgk patient yg macam tu. ak rasa bersalah sebab rasa geli dan takot. ;( tapi, sekarang ak cuba kuatkan semangat. ada satu kali, ak kena ukur panjang lengan satu patient ni...sebabnya nk tahu ketinggian badan. Then, tgh ak nk angkat tgn patient ni..btw, this patient in unconscious..tetiba patient ni terkeluar suara. restless maybe. melayang ak punya tape ntah ke mana. patient kat sebelah dah tgk pelik. HaHa. segan giler ak. dgn dietitian dn patient sekali. Dan....satu benda yg ak takot dan sedih bila bukak patient's note..dekat situ tetiba keluar discharge..discharge bukan sebab keluar hospital, tapi..sebab meninggal or deceased. Hati ak akan berdebar2 bila tgk perkataan discharge..sedih kalo ak penah bercakap2 dgn patient tu. Tetiba patient tu dah xde. Penah ada satu hari ak attach kat CCU (Critical Care Unit), patient yg ak handle was really well actually..just having poor oral intake. Ak sempat la tanya, bercakap2 dgn pakcik ni..tapi, bila ak dtg keesokkannya..pakcik ni dah xsedar..meracau2 due to uremic syndrome. Ak memang terkejot. Bila pakcik ni unconscious, ak sempat lagi tgk muka dia. tenang je. Then, the next week..his condition actually worsen..but then, after few days..keep improving. From Ryle's Tube, he can actually shifted to oral..I was really excited when I heard that news from my dietitian. The next morning, when I look at his notes..the word discharged again appear on the screen..at the top of the screen..I saw a word DECEASED! I just want to cry out loud when I looked at that. Because all my conversation with him came right away in my mind. Sob sob. May Allah bless him and all my patient. Everyone will die, but it's either soon or later.
***********************(^^)*************************
Actually, sebagai manusia biasa yg hina ni, kita plaing susah nk terima hakikat yg kita salah..tremasuk lah diri ak. sebab, kita EGO actually. So, lets say bye to EGO! I hope I can accept other's advice and tegoran. Because from that, I think I can learn what's my mistake. Come on! Keep fighting^^
No comments:
Post a Comment