dgn lafaz syukur..Alhamdulillah, ya Allah. aku masih lagi bernyawa sehingga ke saat ini. Sudeh 22 tahun rupanya aku kat dunia ni. ngeh3~
As usual, nothing special happened on my birthday. dan aku bukanlah jenis yg celebrate birthday mcm org lain..siap partyyyy.xde nya weyh. baru beberapa kali je aku celebrate birthday. naif x? xpon. muahahaha.
Dulu, celebrate birthday pon setakat tukar2 hadiah ngn kawan aku je, Emi. Sebab birthday dia dekat2 dgn aku, 18/12. Selalunya birthday kami jatuh pada hari cuti sekolah. Jadi, time tu ktorang akan jumpa dan bagi hadiah kat masing2. sweet je.. :)
Then, dekat matrix sekali. Kawan aku, Timah ngan Ika put a prank on me. Depa siap buat masterplan ngn roomate aku, Zetty, Husna and Niza baling telur + minyak kat muka aku. Habes bau telur melekat kat badan aku 3 bulan. Overrr kau...terharu sampai nak nangis. HAHA
Dekat U pon sekali jugak celebrate. My dearest housemate, Erk, Ana, Rene, Fariha and Ain once again put a prank bila baling tepung, conteng kat KePop poster aku. Dan dapat Smurfette comelll! dorang sangat sporting. and I love them!
Dekat rumah pon sekali je celebrate. bila mak aku buat2 x ingat aku punya birthday. aku punya la sedih x hengat. tiba-tiba atas meja nampak ada kek. wow! aku terharu sampai berair mata. hehe
Terima kasih kepada yg masih mengingati diri aku ni. walaupun aku pon. kadang2 bukan nk ingat birthday org, harapkan Facebook je. walaupun xde celebration or what, cukup lah dgn wish yg mendoakan hidup aku dirahmati Allah selalu. aku harap korang pon sentiasa dirahmati Allah. AMMINN~
22 TAHUN. SATU TITIK BARU. WISH AKU, BIARLAH RAHSIA. HAHAHAHAHA
Sometimes, I keep my feeling to myself because it's so hard for others to understand it!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
weak student??
oh hoi!!! yabidabeduuuuu....
tetiba rajen nk berblogging..FYI, aku sekarang tgh bekerja@berpraktikal. disebabkan dietitian is not around, letssssss parttttyyyyyy!!!!*joget2* HAHAHAHA
apesal tajok post mcm haraammmm, sensitip jewww??..*gedix* dush!!
ini punya post bukan ntok mengata, mengumpat or mengejek sesiapa. Post ini tiada kaitan dgn yg hidop ataupun yg telah mati, okkaaayyy.. post ini adalah salah satu sesi luahan hati aku yg asyik dok meluah perasaan jer kejenya. eden stressss, kome mana tau..=p
Firstly, siapa weak student in my batch?? ans: no doubt, it's me, dude!! bukan mahu bangga or what..tapi, that's reality I need to realize before anybody else. stress ke? stresss giler. what if lecturers compare me with other friends? I think I will be insane. ok, itu tipu..
Ya Allah..sapa yg suka tergolong dlm kalangan yg lemah? aku pon x hingin. walaupun aku xtahu la exactly aku ni tergolong in that "weak list" or not. But, aku yakin and confident la weyhh. ada nama aku kat situ. and now I'm really speechless and emotionless. xtahu nak gembira, sedih, murung, devastated? oh ho. Actually, aku rasa la..selama aku berpraktikal ni..aku boleh je buat apa yg dietitian nak. But, maybe there were some part where I need to improve. Kalau la lecturer nk evaluate based on evaluation done by dietitian, aku rasa mcm no prob je. *poyo je lebih*
Sejak dulu lagi, asyik kena je dgn lecturer. Sebab muka blur yg obvious bila kena tnya soklan xdpt jwb..padahal org lain pon blur jugak..tp, dorang pndai cover line. Malang la bagi manusia mcm aku ni yg asyik blur and it was so obvious to be identified. Then, this coming presentation..I bet ak mmg akan kena hentam habis-habisan beb!
post ni mcm ak hapy je dok cite, tapi sebenarnya it's a full of frustration actually. sob la. ok, bye!
tetiba rajen nk berblogging..FYI, aku sekarang tgh bekerja@berpraktikal. disebabkan dietitian is not around, letssssss parttttyyyyyy!!!!*joget2* HAHAHAHA
apesal tajok post mcm haraammmm, sensitip jewww??..*gedix* dush!!
ini punya post bukan ntok mengata, mengumpat or mengejek sesiapa. Post ini tiada kaitan dgn yg hidop ataupun yg telah mati, okkaaayyy.. post ini adalah salah satu sesi luahan hati aku yg asyik dok meluah perasaan jer kejenya. eden stressss, kome mana tau..=p
Firstly, siapa weak student in my batch?? ans: no doubt, it's me, dude!! bukan mahu bangga or what..tapi, that's reality I need to realize before anybody else. stress ke? stresss giler. what if lecturers compare me with other friends? I think I will be insane. ok, itu tipu..
Ya Allah..sapa yg suka tergolong dlm kalangan yg lemah? aku pon x hingin. walaupun aku xtahu la exactly aku ni tergolong in that "weak list" or not. But, aku yakin and confident la weyhh. ada nama aku kat situ. and now I'm really speechless and emotionless. xtahu nak gembira, sedih, murung, devastated? oh ho. Actually, aku rasa la..selama aku berpraktikal ni..aku boleh je buat apa yg dietitian nak. But, maybe there were some part where I need to improve. Kalau la lecturer nk evaluate based on evaluation done by dietitian, aku rasa mcm no prob je. *poyo je lebih*
Sejak dulu lagi, asyik kena je dgn lecturer. Sebab muka blur yg obvious bila kena tnya soklan xdpt jwb..padahal org lain pon blur jugak..tp, dorang pndai cover line. Malang la bagi manusia mcm aku ni yg asyik blur and it was so obvious to be identified. Then, this coming presentation..I bet ak mmg akan kena hentam habis-habisan beb!
post ni mcm ak hapy je dok cite, tapi sebenarnya it's a full of frustration actually. sob la. ok, bye!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
kosong 0_0
jiwa kosong..
sebenarnya aku xtahu pon apa kah maknanya jiwa kosong? adakah xde perasaan? what ever..
"everybody has their own life"..tetiba, yeah..benda ni, aku asyik terpikir je dalam hati..sebab hape? sebab semua org yg aku kenal dan rapat dgn aku semuanya dah jauh sgt2 dari aku. and that's made me feel really sad, u know..;(
aku adalah insan yg sgt rapat dgn makcik, pakcik aku..*semua org pelik, macam mana boleh rapat ngn pak & makcik ni?* sebenarnya ada makhluk lain yg sama spesies dgn aku, si Rene. dia pon sama, rapat dgn makcik2 dia. so, aku xpelik lah kan. dolu, zaman kecik-kecik..still fresh in memory, bila aku jadi mak turut pakcik & makcik aku. tolong jadi posmen hantar love letter kat rumah sebelah. padahal rumah sebelah tu saudara kami jerk. entah pape, HAHA. then, ikot pakcik & makcik aku masok hutan. sebab dorang bina rumah atas pokok. comell giler. aku penah naek sekali je rumah pokok tu. gayat seyh. then, ikot pakcik aku pegi tangkap ikan. penah satu kali, aku dgn sepupu-sepapat aku ramai2 jadi pak turut pakcik aku mengembara sampai ke hujung sungai. dahsyat. ala-ala dah dekat gunung-ganang dah. seram je. naseb bek xdak pakcik gajah keluar dari bukit. hehe.
Tapi....
sekarang, semuanya dah berkeluarga. punya family dan anak2 sendiri..our relationship was not close as back then. sob sob..bila fikir balik, I really miss those memories damn much!
sebenarnya aku xtahu pon apa kah maknanya jiwa kosong? adakah xde perasaan? what ever..
"everybody has their own life"..tetiba, yeah..benda ni, aku asyik terpikir je dalam hati..sebab hape? sebab semua org yg aku kenal dan rapat dgn aku semuanya dah jauh sgt2 dari aku. and that's made me feel really sad, u know..;(
aku adalah insan yg sgt rapat dgn makcik, pakcik aku..*semua org pelik, macam mana boleh rapat ngn pak & makcik ni?* sebenarnya ada makhluk lain yg sama spesies dgn aku, si Rene. dia pon sama, rapat dgn makcik2 dia. so, aku xpelik lah kan. dolu, zaman kecik-kecik..still fresh in memory, bila aku jadi mak turut pakcik & makcik aku. tolong jadi posmen hantar love letter kat rumah sebelah. padahal rumah sebelah tu saudara kami jerk. entah pape, HAHA. then, ikot pakcik & makcik aku masok hutan. sebab dorang bina rumah atas pokok. comell giler. aku penah naek sekali je rumah pokok tu. gayat seyh. then, ikot pakcik aku pegi tangkap ikan. penah satu kali, aku dgn sepupu-sepapat aku ramai2 jadi pak turut pakcik aku mengembara sampai ke hujung sungai. dahsyat. ala-ala dah dekat gunung-ganang dah. seram je. naseb bek xdak pakcik gajah keluar dari bukit. hehe.
Tapi....
sekarang, semuanya dah berkeluarga. punya family dan anak2 sendiri..our relationship was not close as back then. sob sob..bila fikir balik, I really miss those memories damn much!
***************************SWEET MEMORIES**************************
Lagi satu cerita..
member aku selalu ckp, "Kau ni Ayu, xpayah la tgk romantic movie..bukan ada perasaan pon" adakah statement di atas betol? jawapannya, salah sama sekali. gilak kah perempuan melayu terakhir macam aku ni xde perasaan? xminat romantic movie? love story? sorryyyy...aku xde la sampai ke tahap xde perasaan. paling xpon, aku menguap je dalam cinema kalau tgk cerita. sapa yg xsuka love story. heoll~*Rene ni, suka sgt ckp heoll..see, dah terpengaruh sudeh* tapi, the reality is I really like love story, romantic movie..sampai bole buat aku angau, senyum sorang2. PSY tetiba. tapi, semua love story, romantic movie..all those is fairy tale for me. memang la ada kesah2 romantic cam kat dlm movie tu, tapi..reality nya susah sgt nk dicari woiii. Bak kata Maroon 5, "All those fairy tale are full of shi*". Sebab tu la, aku xberapa nak favor of romantic movie, love story and spesies2 yg sama waktu dgn nya. Sebab, aku ni senang sgt hanyut dibawa alam fantasi. I kept reminding of myself "Woi, itu fantasy, not reality. WAKE UP!"
NOW, teros terang aku cakap..aku tgh angau. ok, sekian..
But, I dare not to dream high. Because I didn't deserve any of that like others would had. Life was so unfair..I don't know why I had that crappy thought in my mind. Frankly speaking, it's about jodoh. Everybody (my friends la) keep worrying to find a partner. A partner that will bring us to Jannah and a partner that will be with us forever and hereafter. Me, hope so. But, jodoh..di tangan Allah. keep believing that...
Saturday, December 8, 2012
A pause to reflect...
hidup ini, Allah dah tentukan segala-galanya untuk setiap hambanya. betol. aku setuju. hari tu, tetiba tertengok Tanyalah Ustazah kat tv9..tajok nya pasal doa mustajab. hurm, menarik2..so, aku layan je walaupun tertidor di tgh jln. tengah hari kot, perot lapo..ok, back to the topic.
Ustazah ada diskuskan, kenapa walaupun kita dah berdoa siang malam, tapi sampai sekarang pon Allah still x makbulkan doa kita? kenapa? kenapa? wonder why kan? aku pon sama!
Setiap yg berlaku mesti ada sebabnya. Same goes with this.
Jawapannya:
1) Mungkin lah time kita berdoa tu kita tak bersungguh2. men sambil lewa je. Sebab doa yg kita mintak tu tiap2 hari, jadi dah boleh hafal pon. tut tut dah Ameen..jadi tiada kesungguhan di situ, macam mana Allah nk makbulkan? betol dok?
2) jawapan ni plg aku suka..kenapa Allah masih tak makbulkan doa kita? mungkin sebab Allah nk simpan dulu..kalau zaman muda2 kau berdoa xdapat, mungkin bila hari tua doa tu termakbul. kalau still x termakbul jugak, kau dah meninggal pon..mungkin kat akhirat kelak. kau nak dpt cash kat dunia or akhirat? kau pikirlah sendiri. tepuk dada, tanya iman. heee.
kadang2 kita wonder, I meant, aku la wonder. kenapa minah tu, ek elehh..dah la free hair, smexy, kaya-raya, body lawa, muka cantik, dpt pulak husband ensem gila, anak comel..kenapa life ni x adil!!!
jawapannya: Allah sahaja la yg mengetahui segala-galanya. Allah dah tentukan segala-lanya yg terbaik untuk hamba-hambanya. termasuk lah diri aku. mungkin la org2 yg aku maksudkan di atas, yg ada segala-galanya di dunia ni..Allah bagi je..Allah nak uji mereka, adakah mereka tergolong dalam kalangan org yg beriman atau kufur? kalau la mereka kufur dgn nikmat yg Allah dah bagi.. maka, adalah balasan Allah terhadap mereka iaitu Neraka. kaya, cantik, pandai..tapi, kufur..nak ke? soklan kpd diri sendiri. "xnak!"
tapi, ada jugak segelintir org yg xdpt nikmat di dunia..tapi, still tergolong dlm kalangan yg kufur. Nauzubillah..
**so, sama-sama la kita reflect diri masing2 supaya kita sentiasa tergolong dalam kalangan yg beriman dan dijauhkan la dari sifat kufur ini.
(Hamba yg penuh dgn dosa, 2012)
Friday, December 7, 2012
"Change for good ain't a crime" -HLovate, Versus
wah, tetiba ak jadi peminat HLovate dowh..
this weekend, balik rumah..tgk2 my lil brother yg baru je habes SPM tgh syok dok baca novel Versus ni..iyoooo...adeq ak..xsangka! tapi, memang ak dah tahu pon..dia neh jenis mcm ni..layan novel jugaks..haha..tapi, dia xlembut oke!!!!
sedang dok ak tgk, xtgk dia baca novel tu..ak teringin jugak nk baca..yela..novel HLovate kan besh nk mamp.. romantic, berilimiah..yesh, jarang ada novel malay yg mcm ni. ni la satu-satunya hasil karya orang malay yg bole ak katakan SUPERB, MARVELOUS, JELOUS!!!!
this weekend, balik rumah..tgk2 my lil brother yg baru je habes SPM tgh syok dok baca novel Versus ni..iyoooo...adeq ak..xsangka! tapi, memang ak dah tahu pon..dia neh jenis mcm ni..layan novel jugaks..haha..tapi, dia xlembut oke!!!!
sedang dok ak tgk, xtgk dia baca novel tu..ak teringin jugak nk baca..yela..novel HLovate kan besh nk mamp.. romantic, berilimiah..yesh, jarang ada novel malay yg mcm ni. ni la satu-satunya hasil karya orang malay yg bole ak katakan SUPERB, MARVELOUS, JELOUS!!!!
***************previous entry (last week lagi tulis, but as a draft je*****************
hari ni, hari khamis (6/12/12):
jiwa kacau seyh. tempat keje tadi, guwa kena tegor dgn dietitian. eh, tetiba guwa. hah, lantak la. entah la, actually, guwa benci gak ngn attitude guwa yg xberapa nk baeks ni. bila kena tegor sikit, cepat sgt rasa irritate. PMS ke hape. guwa kena tegor sebab xbuat assessment dgn baek. sbb guwa mls. leceh seyh nak tnya satu2..dgn keadaan patient yg xberapa nk mengizinkan guwa untuk menginterview. SERIOUSLY, bila kena tegor tu..guwa rasa macam hampeh, haprak..semua ada. memang betol, keje dietitian ni mmg leceh. tapi, apa yg dietitian tegor tu actually betol. guwa bole je terima. tapi, entah la..tetiba sensitip byk..guwa, kalau ada something wrong..expression muka pasti cepat berubah. kompem 150% dietitian tu perasan. hadoih. susah jugak bila jadi org yg senang dikenal pasti expression mukanya bila berubah.
lepas tu, guwa actually rasa bersalah dgn dietitian tu sbb guwa buat lagak samseng. tambah satu masalah pulak, bila guwa bagi kaunseling panjang pulak. *padahal xde la lama sgt kot* uish uish..
partner guwa ada cerita lps tu, dietitian komen.
"Ayu tu byk ckp pulak. Ckp yg berkaitan sudeh la"
ok, fine. guwa sedih, keciwa, dissapointed dgn diri guwa. guwa xtahu nk lepaskan perasaan kat sape. nak ckp ngn partner guwa..dia mcm bukan jenis yg suka dgr mslh org. guwa sedih dan stress sgt. tapi, guwa ada citer jugak perasaan guwa dkt dia, tapi..entah, xpuas hati..did not get a really good response..
pastu guwa texted guwa punye member, si polan ni..kdg2 kalo guwa stress guwa kan text dia. ada la jugak response dari dia.
"muka aku kalo berubah, kontra x? bole perasan?
nak jugak guwa tahu pendapat org, sebab guwa pon xtahu mcm mana org view guwa. kalau xbaek, guwa bole cuba berubah dan improve. tapi, dia bole buat lawak bodoh plak. ok, fine..xdpt jawapan. guwa stress, baru je nk start luahkan perasaan. terbuku je la. tapi, partner guwa habaq, mmg bole perasan kalau expression muka guwa berubah ke hape. in conclusion, mesti dietitian tadi bole perasaan expression muka guwa berubah bila kena tegor. sob..sob..
ni la masalahnya, bila xde best friend, ANTI-SOCIAL mcm guwa. bila ada problem, xtahu nk luah perasaan kat sapa. nak luah kat mak..guwa bukan jenis yg suka luah perasaan kat org even kat mak sekalipon. sebab kwn yg sama2 hadapi bende same, jadi guwa pon berani la nk luahkan kalau ada any prob.
guwa rasa suffocated giler. really. sebab byk sgt bende dan prob yg guwa pendam sorang2. yg xdapat nk diluahkan kepada org lain. kdg2 mcm nak nangis pon ada. baru je pls tgk movie korea, SUNNY tajoknya. it's all about friendship. really, guwa sgt jealous bila tgk citer pasal friendship.
FRIENDS..
They will always with us during easy and hard time....
Genuine friends listen thoughtfully to our sorrows, laugh with us and celebrate our joy and victories as though they were their own.
A true friend patiently accepts our imperfections, ever ready to offer encouragement and hope during hard times.
(Luahan hati seorang anti social)
Thursday, November 22, 2012
jiwa kacau
dengan bangganya ak ingin menyatakan di sini bahawa jiwa ak tgh kacau bilau due to homesick melampau..
seminggu dok rumah beb! mana x homesick..nk kembali bekerja pon xdak mood. really! ZERO!
during break, ak plak yg demam. who took care of me? my mom la..
ak sentiasa jadi anak yg xkenang budi my mom..really..
dan ak selalu put blame on my mom..because I thought she never understand me. bila ak sakit, dia yg bawakkan ubat..bawakkan makanan..dem! that's really made me cry regretting what I have done for her. My mom did everything eventhough I'm already old enough to do it all on my own.
siyes weh. setiap kali ak down, ak mesti cuba kuatkan semangat. ditambah ak sgt tidak suka berpraktikal kat HUSM ni, makin down la ak rasa untuk habiskan sisa2 praktikal. walaupun, still halfway to go..tetapi, lepas ni foodservice..harap2 ak dpt bernafas sedikit.
bila balik je dari kerja, waktu berlalu sgt la pantas. kejap je dah malam. balik mesti ngantok giler. kadang2, xsempat nk mandi..dah tertido. bila dah malam..cepat pulak rasanya dah pagi..dan kena get ready ntok pegi bekerja. this is my boring life cycle every day.
kadang2, ak selalu je dok perhati..tgk kehidupan org lain. adakah mereka enjoy, bahagia dan gembira dgn hidop dorang?? sedangkan ak, hanya Allah je yg tahu..bagaimana setiap hari ak terpaksa cekalkan hati pergi berpraktikal.
sumpah, secara jujurnya..kalau diberi another chance, i will never choose this course. kenapa? sebab byk sebab. praktikal dah la setahun. melampau beb. ak rela bukak buku, pergi lecture.. baik ak jadi doctor, boleh treat patient..yes, dietitian pon boleh bntu patient jugak..tapi, ak rasa people will hard to listen and obey with things related to food. bukan nak kata kat patient je la..even ak sendiri pon susah nk kawal bende2 untuk makan ni. kau akan dpt title dr free2 je, tapi kdg2 ak fed up bila dipanggil dr walaupun ak xlayak pon untuk dpt title tu. so, ak rasa sgt menympah bila ada org pggil ak dr...sbb ak bukan dr..
tapi, yes..semua ni ketentuan takdir. nak tak nak, ak kena terima la no matter how hard it was. ak nekad yg i will just go thru with everything without thinking about anything. i will go with the flow. walaupun stress, move on je la. ni la salah satu cara hidup yg sebelum ni xde arah tujuan. kalau la ak dpt turn back time, kalau laa.....
seminggu dok rumah beb! mana x homesick..nk kembali bekerja pon xdak mood. really! ZERO!
during break, ak plak yg demam. who took care of me? my mom la..
ak sentiasa jadi anak yg xkenang budi my mom..really..
dan ak selalu put blame on my mom..because I thought she never understand me. bila ak sakit, dia yg bawakkan ubat..bawakkan makanan..dem! that's really made me cry regretting what I have done for her. My mom did everything eventhough I'm already old enough to do it all on my own.
siyes weh. setiap kali ak down, ak mesti cuba kuatkan semangat. ditambah ak sgt tidak suka berpraktikal kat HUSM ni, makin down la ak rasa untuk habiskan sisa2 praktikal. walaupun, still halfway to go..tetapi, lepas ni foodservice..harap2 ak dpt bernafas sedikit.
bila balik je dari kerja, waktu berlalu sgt la pantas. kejap je dah malam. balik mesti ngantok giler. kadang2, xsempat nk mandi..dah tertido. bila dah malam..cepat pulak rasanya dah pagi..dan kena get ready ntok pegi bekerja. this is my boring life cycle every day.
kadang2, ak selalu je dok perhati..tgk kehidupan org lain. adakah mereka enjoy, bahagia dan gembira dgn hidop dorang?? sedangkan ak, hanya Allah je yg tahu..bagaimana setiap hari ak terpaksa cekalkan hati pergi berpraktikal.
sumpah, secara jujurnya..kalau diberi another chance, i will never choose this course. kenapa? sebab byk sebab. praktikal dah la setahun. melampau beb. ak rela bukak buku, pergi lecture.. baik ak jadi doctor, boleh treat patient..yes, dietitian pon boleh bntu patient jugak..tapi, ak rasa people will hard to listen and obey with things related to food. bukan nak kata kat patient je la..even ak sendiri pon susah nk kawal bende2 untuk makan ni. kau akan dpt title dr free2 je, tapi kdg2 ak fed up bila dipanggil dr walaupun ak xlayak pon untuk dpt title tu. so, ak rasa sgt menympah bila ada org pggil ak dr...sbb ak bukan dr..
tapi, yes..semua ni ketentuan takdir. nak tak nak, ak kena terima la no matter how hard it was. ak nekad yg i will just go thru with everything without thinking about anything. i will go with the flow. walaupun stress, move on je la. ni la salah satu cara hidup yg sebelum ni xde arah tujuan. kalau la ak dpt turn back time, kalau laa.....
Sunday, November 11, 2012
holidayyyyyy mariiiii!!!!!!
hooorayyyyy! cuti! holiday! break!
ak pon ada cuti sekolah jugak! seminggu! kih3~kepada kawan2 yg x bercuti, harap bersabar..mungkin nex time akan tiba turn anda. hehe
alaaa..cuti pon, bukan syiok sgt..boring giler kot dok umah.huwahuwahuwa...
dah la hujan, terperap je dalam rumah..tv time ak nk tgk, rosak plak..bukak 10 minit, padam..spoil mood betol la.baru nk layan KBS..bla..bla..kpop lagi!
bila rasa boring rindu plak kt member sekepala ak. hihi. kan best kalau dpt lepak sama2. heolll~
ice skating..teringat memori kat situ..
first time pegi men ice skating, jakon giler beb! Haha. asek berpaut kat dinding mcm spiderman. back then, ak gelak2 kt org..skrg maybe org gelak kat ak.hamek kau!
teringat si budak kecik yg comel..bila tgk ak asek jatuh, tetiba dia hulurkan tgn..nk pimpin ak. and opkos la dia teror nk mamp skate. haha. bila dia hulurkan tgn, ak tnpa segan silu teros sambut tgn dia..allaaa, budak apa la sgt...ooppss~tapi, ak pakai glove okeyyy! so, berlapik...haha. lagipon time tu maybe dia kesian giler tgk ak jatuh byk kali. omaigooodddd!!bila teringat balik, rasa nk campak je muka ni masok tong sampah. segan nyaaaaa!! budak itu sgt sweettt okeeyy! siap ajar ak lgi how to skate. haha. tapi, ak xpandai dan xbole nk ikot. fobia jatuh byk kali woo! before dia blah, sempat lagi dia pesan "akak, jgn jatuh lagi ye" omai goodnesss! how sweet. kenapa awak masih budak2????haha, hati ak pon dah cair even budak2. nanti besar, kompem gentleman. kih3~
ak pon ada cuti sekolah jugak! seminggu! kih3~kepada kawan2 yg x bercuti, harap bersabar..mungkin nex time akan tiba turn anda. hehe
alaaa..cuti pon, bukan syiok sgt..boring giler kot dok umah.huwahuwahuwa...
dah la hujan, terperap je dalam rumah..tv time ak nk tgk, rosak plak..bukak 10 minit, padam..spoil mood betol la.baru nk layan KBS..bla..bla..kpop lagi!
bila rasa boring rindu plak kt member sekepala ak. hihi. kan best kalau dpt lepak sama2. heolll~
ice skating..teringat memori kat situ..
first time pegi men ice skating, jakon giler beb! Haha. asek berpaut kat dinding mcm spiderman. back then, ak gelak2 kt org..skrg maybe org gelak kat ak.hamek kau!
teringat si budak kecik yg comel..bila tgk ak asek jatuh, tetiba dia hulurkan tgn..nk pimpin ak. and opkos la dia teror nk mamp skate. haha. bila dia hulurkan tgn, ak tnpa segan silu teros sambut tgn dia..allaaa, budak apa la sgt...ooppss~tapi, ak pakai glove okeyyy! so, berlapik...haha. lagipon time tu maybe dia kesian giler tgk ak jatuh byk kali. omaigooodddd!!bila teringat balik, rasa nk campak je muka ni masok tong sampah. segan nyaaaaa!! budak itu sgt sweettt okeeyy! siap ajar ak lgi how to skate. haha. tapi, ak xpandai dan xbole nk ikot. fobia jatuh byk kali woo! before dia blah, sempat lagi dia pesan "akak, jgn jatuh lagi ye" omai goodnesss! how sweet. kenapa awak masih budak2????haha, hati ak pon dah cair even budak2. nanti besar, kompem gentleman. kih3~
Thursday, November 1, 2012
new setting, new experience^^
yo!whasssuuppp~
untuk makluman semua umat manusia di planet bumi, ak dgn bangganya ingin menyatakan bahawa ak telah pon menamatkan status student praktikal di hospital Terengganu. Dan tiba masanya ak kembali ke tempat asalku. kah kah kah.
Hepiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii beb! dapat balik rumah..
dan bermula lah kisah hidup ak di HUSM sebagai student dietitian......
first experience..okes..not so bad..tapi, yg satu buat ak terkejot bila semua nurse pakai baju kaler purple..haha.tercengang ak beb..sebab dah biasa tgk nurse pakai baju kaler putih..bila tgk dorang pakai kaler purple ni, agak janggal la sikit.kui3~
dan berbeza plak dgn staf hosp eg doctor, pharmacist, dietitian..kat sini dorang xde pkai white coat bila tgk or rawat patient. guess what??kalau ternampak ramai2 yg pakai white coat tu..haaa. student la tu. may be medic student, dietitian student..hehe..so, xkan ada org yg tersalah panggil dr ke hape..sebab yg pakai white coat hanyalah student..a white is just a white coat only! terbalik kang..bila kat terengganu dulu, kalau pakai white coat je,sah2 dapat title dr free2..tapi, kat sini..no more! ;P
Sebab kat sini terlalu ramai student, so ak xberapa suka sgt. Harap2 there's something good here!
untuk makluman semua umat manusia di planet bumi, ak dgn bangganya ingin menyatakan bahawa ak telah pon menamatkan status student praktikal di hospital Terengganu. Dan tiba masanya ak kembali ke tempat asalku. kah kah kah.
Hepiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii beb! dapat balik rumah..
dan bermula lah kisah hidup ak di HUSM sebagai student dietitian......
first experience..okes..not so bad..tapi, yg satu buat ak terkejot bila semua nurse pakai baju kaler purple..haha.tercengang ak beb..sebab dah biasa tgk nurse pakai baju kaler putih..bila tgk dorang pakai kaler purple ni, agak janggal la sikit.kui3~
dan berbeza plak dgn staf hosp eg doctor, pharmacist, dietitian..kat sini dorang xde pkai white coat bila tgk or rawat patient. guess what??kalau ternampak ramai2 yg pakai white coat tu..haaa. student la tu. may be medic student, dietitian student..hehe..so, xkan ada org yg tersalah panggil dr ke hape..sebab yg pakai white coat hanyalah student..a white is just a white coat only! terbalik kang..bila kat terengganu dulu, kalau pakai white coat je,sah2 dapat title dr free2..tapi, kat sini..no more! ;P
Sebab kat sini terlalu ramai student, so ak xberapa suka sgt. Harap2 there's something good here!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
imperfection
o tai wan mei..%$##@&%$#..tetiba lagu super junior yg keluar..ooppss!
okes. hari ni my partner, SH namanya..sama-sama praktikal ngn gua kt HSNZ. dia dok la mengadu yg dia sgt stress bila dikomen oleh dietitian. Okeh. ak xbole ckp byk, so ak just dgr dan mencelah sikit2 je. sebab, bukan dia je yg penah experience benda tu. ak pon penah. sampai nk menangis pon ada.
nak kata dietitian xkomen ak, ada jugak. belambak. tapi, yg hairannya satu pon xmasok dlm kepala hotak ak ni. Maybe teguran yg dilemparkan xberapa nk keras or mungkin kah hati ak dah jadi hati batu??? entah. pikir la sendiri. Ak rasa dietitian kat sini semua baik. Dorang ada la tegor, tp ak amek semua tu sebagai komen yg membina. maybe sebab tu la ak x terasa sgt bila ditegor.
ak sedar yang ak still lacking especially counseling part. Masa first2 ikot Puan A, ak maen selamba je counsel diabetic patient without using CHO counting or pamphlet. apa yg ak guna hanya lah air liuq ak yg xbapa nk berharga ni. haha. sebab, time ak praktikal kt HKB dulu, dietitian ak penah cakap "Kita dietitian ni, xde pape pon nk ditawarkan untuk patient, kecuali air liur kita" HeHe. sebab tu la ak guna je air liur ak ni. Energy requirement for patient pon ak xkira. Bila dah habes jumpa patient baru kira. So, kerja ak quite senang la time kat KB dulu. xpayah nk menggelabah kira2 energy intake & requirement. buat kalut je. But then, bila datang HSNZ..a lot of new things ak belajar. Puan A ajar MESTI kena kira energy intake patient and educate them on CHO counting. Time tu, ak mesti menggelabah. mana nk kira energy requirement, mana nk tnya diet intke, nak kira lagi..haha..lama-kelamaan ok la.not so bad. xde la lama sgt ak amek masa nk kira semua tu. First time counsel, memang berterabur. ak pon frust dgn diri sendiri. Puan A ada bagi nasihat dan teguran. So, ak improve myself with that. Alhamdulillah, at the end of the attachment with her, she said she can see an improvement from me. :) Actually that's what I want to hear. Not that, I AM THE BEST or what. Just a good improvement is enough for me. But, she kept commenting on my unclear voice. Haha. I also don't realize that. LOL~
Bila ikot Puan M, yes..ak sgt takot actually dgn dia. Sebab dietitian lain penah cerita yg dia sgt garang dgn student. Oh ho. Mati seyh ak. Dah la ak ni lembab, pemalas xsoh kata la. HeHe. Accidentally, she incharged for renal ward. Ok. Ak angkat tgn awal2 kalau bab renal ni. ak memang la sgt lemah. Kaunseling hari first, ak copy paste je style dia. HaHa. sampai dia tegor, "haih, saya tgk awak tiru style saya je, xmau..saya nk tgk awak guna style awak sendiri" Yes. Memang pon. sebab ak risau kalau ak guna style ak, kucar kacir la jawabnya. She really talk to me direct that I'm still weak with the counseling part. Actually, ak nk je nangis bila dgr mcm tu. HoHO. tapi, ak tahan je. tapi, dia selalu ckp "yela, awak kan still student..memang la xmahir lagi bab2 kaunseling..banyakkan membaca, luaskan pandangan" ak xtahu la kenapa dia baek sgt sedangkan dgn student yg lama dia sgt garang. adakah muka ak ni mcm muka mintak simpati??HaHa. Tapi, the one thing I can't resist when she said my documentation was good. HeHe. Dalam hati...yeeeeehaaaaaw! at least, ad la something yg good. kah3..
Sekarang, ak ikot Cik B. Wow! Surgical ward. really crowded with patient. sampai ak xde masa nk berehat lgsg. Lepas naik ward, kena buat notes. Then, log book pon xsempat nk buat. Mati la. minggu ni dah minggu last. I have missed about 1 month for logbook. Pemalas tahap dewa beb. sekarang baru gua menyesal. rasa nk hentak2 je kepala ni ke dinding bagi berkecai.. oops~over!
Bila attach dgn Cik B, fuiyoh~byk yg belajar..tentang Ryle's Tube feeding. First time jugak ak rasa nk pengsan bila tgk patient yg dgn jahitan kat kepala, berdarah..semangat ak lemah gila wooo bila masok surgical ward ni. ada yg patah kaki sebab MVA, cancer la.. ak tunduk je bila masok ward ni sbb ak memang xbole tgk patient yg macam tu. ak rasa bersalah sebab rasa geli dan takot. ;( tapi, sekarang ak cuba kuatkan semangat. ada satu kali, ak kena ukur panjang lengan satu patient ni...sebabnya nk tahu ketinggian badan. Then, tgh ak nk angkat tgn patient ni..btw, this patient in unconscious..tetiba patient ni terkeluar suara. restless maybe. melayang ak punya tape ntah ke mana. patient kat sebelah dah tgk pelik. HaHa. segan giler ak. dgn dietitian dn patient sekali. Dan....satu benda yg ak takot dan sedih bila bukak patient's note..dekat situ tetiba keluar discharge..discharge bukan sebab keluar hospital, tapi..sebab meninggal or deceased. Hati ak akan berdebar2 bila tgk perkataan discharge..sedih kalo ak penah bercakap2 dgn patient tu. Tetiba patient tu dah xde. Penah ada satu hari ak attach kat CCU (Critical Care Unit), patient yg ak handle was really well actually..just having poor oral intake. Ak sempat la tanya, bercakap2 dgn pakcik ni..tapi, bila ak dtg keesokkannya..pakcik ni dah xsedar..meracau2 due to uremic syndrome. Ak memang terkejot. Bila pakcik ni unconscious, ak sempat lagi tgk muka dia. tenang je. Then, the next week..his condition actually worsen..but then, after few days..keep improving. From Ryle's Tube, he can actually shifted to oral..I was really excited when I heard that news from my dietitian. The next morning, when I look at his notes..the word discharged again appear on the screen..at the top of the screen..I saw a word DECEASED! I just want to cry out loud when I looked at that. Because all my conversation with him came right away in my mind. Sob sob. May Allah bless him and all my patient. Everyone will die, but it's either soon or later.
okes. hari ni my partner, SH namanya..sama-sama praktikal ngn gua kt HSNZ. dia dok la mengadu yg dia sgt stress bila dikomen oleh dietitian. Okeh. ak xbole ckp byk, so ak just dgr dan mencelah sikit2 je. sebab, bukan dia je yg penah experience benda tu. ak pon penah. sampai nk menangis pon ada.
nak kata dietitian xkomen ak, ada jugak. belambak. tapi, yg hairannya satu pon xmasok dlm kepala hotak ak ni. Maybe teguran yg dilemparkan xberapa nk keras or mungkin kah hati ak dah jadi hati batu??? entah. pikir la sendiri. Ak rasa dietitian kat sini semua baik. Dorang ada la tegor, tp ak amek semua tu sebagai komen yg membina. maybe sebab tu la ak x terasa sgt bila ditegor.
ak sedar yang ak still lacking especially counseling part. Masa first2 ikot Puan A, ak maen selamba je counsel diabetic patient without using CHO counting or pamphlet. apa yg ak guna hanya lah air liuq ak yg xbapa nk berharga ni. haha. sebab, time ak praktikal kt HKB dulu, dietitian ak penah cakap "Kita dietitian ni, xde pape pon nk ditawarkan untuk patient, kecuali air liur kita" HeHe. sebab tu la ak guna je air liur ak ni. Energy requirement for patient pon ak xkira. Bila dah habes jumpa patient baru kira. So, kerja ak quite senang la time kat KB dulu. xpayah nk menggelabah kira2 energy intake & requirement. buat kalut je. But then, bila datang HSNZ..a lot of new things ak belajar. Puan A ajar MESTI kena kira energy intake patient and educate them on CHO counting. Time tu, ak mesti menggelabah. mana nk kira energy requirement, mana nk tnya diet intke, nak kira lagi..haha..lama-kelamaan ok la.not so bad. xde la lama sgt ak amek masa nk kira semua tu. First time counsel, memang berterabur. ak pon frust dgn diri sendiri. Puan A ada bagi nasihat dan teguran. So, ak improve myself with that. Alhamdulillah, at the end of the attachment with her, she said she can see an improvement from me. :) Actually that's what I want to hear. Not that, I AM THE BEST or what. Just a good improvement is enough for me. But, she kept commenting on my unclear voice. Haha. I also don't realize that. LOL~
Bila ikot Puan M, yes..ak sgt takot actually dgn dia. Sebab dietitian lain penah cerita yg dia sgt garang dgn student. Oh ho. Mati seyh ak. Dah la ak ni lembab, pemalas xsoh kata la. HeHe. Accidentally, she incharged for renal ward. Ok. Ak angkat tgn awal2 kalau bab renal ni. ak memang la sgt lemah. Kaunseling hari first, ak copy paste je style dia. HaHa. sampai dia tegor, "haih, saya tgk awak tiru style saya je, xmau..saya nk tgk awak guna style awak sendiri" Yes. Memang pon. sebab ak risau kalau ak guna style ak, kucar kacir la jawabnya. She really talk to me direct that I'm still weak with the counseling part. Actually, ak nk je nangis bila dgr mcm tu. HoHO. tapi, ak tahan je. tapi, dia selalu ckp "yela, awak kan still student..memang la xmahir lagi bab2 kaunseling..banyakkan membaca, luaskan pandangan" ak xtahu la kenapa dia baek sgt sedangkan dgn student yg lama dia sgt garang. adakah muka ak ni mcm muka mintak simpati??HaHa. Tapi, the one thing I can't resist when she said my documentation was good. HeHe. Dalam hati...yeeeeehaaaaaw! at least, ad la something yg good. kah3..
Sekarang, ak ikot Cik B. Wow! Surgical ward. really crowded with patient. sampai ak xde masa nk berehat lgsg. Lepas naik ward, kena buat notes. Then, log book pon xsempat nk buat. Mati la. minggu ni dah minggu last. I have missed about 1 month for logbook. Pemalas tahap dewa beb. sekarang baru gua menyesal. rasa nk hentak2 je kepala ni ke dinding bagi berkecai.. oops~over!
Bila attach dgn Cik B, fuiyoh~byk yg belajar..tentang Ryle's Tube feeding. First time jugak ak rasa nk pengsan bila tgk patient yg dgn jahitan kat kepala, berdarah..semangat ak lemah gila wooo bila masok surgical ward ni. ada yg patah kaki sebab MVA, cancer la.. ak tunduk je bila masok ward ni sbb ak memang xbole tgk patient yg macam tu. ak rasa bersalah sebab rasa geli dan takot. ;( tapi, sekarang ak cuba kuatkan semangat. ada satu kali, ak kena ukur panjang lengan satu patient ni...sebabnya nk tahu ketinggian badan. Then, tgh ak nk angkat tgn patient ni..btw, this patient in unconscious..tetiba patient ni terkeluar suara. restless maybe. melayang ak punya tape ntah ke mana. patient kat sebelah dah tgk pelik. HaHa. segan giler ak. dgn dietitian dn patient sekali. Dan....satu benda yg ak takot dan sedih bila bukak patient's note..dekat situ tetiba keluar discharge..discharge bukan sebab keluar hospital, tapi..sebab meninggal or deceased. Hati ak akan berdebar2 bila tgk perkataan discharge..sedih kalo ak penah bercakap2 dgn patient tu. Tetiba patient tu dah xde. Penah ada satu hari ak attach kat CCU (Critical Care Unit), patient yg ak handle was really well actually..just having poor oral intake. Ak sempat la tanya, bercakap2 dgn pakcik ni..tapi, bila ak dtg keesokkannya..pakcik ni dah xsedar..meracau2 due to uremic syndrome. Ak memang terkejot. Bila pakcik ni unconscious, ak sempat lagi tgk muka dia. tenang je. Then, the next week..his condition actually worsen..but then, after few days..keep improving. From Ryle's Tube, he can actually shifted to oral..I was really excited when I heard that news from my dietitian. The next morning, when I look at his notes..the word discharged again appear on the screen..at the top of the screen..I saw a word DECEASED! I just want to cry out loud when I looked at that. Because all my conversation with him came right away in my mind. Sob sob. May Allah bless him and all my patient. Everyone will die, but it's either soon or later.
***********************(^^)*************************
Actually, sebagai manusia biasa yg hina ni, kita plaing susah nk terima hakikat yg kita salah..tremasuk lah diri ak. sebab, kita EGO actually. So, lets say bye to EGO! I hope I can accept other's advice and tegoran. Because from that, I think I can learn what's my mistake. Come on! Keep fighting^^
Friday, October 19, 2012
a white coat is not just a white coat^^
Yo!!!
Mood malas untuk berblogging sudah kian meningkat! Al-maklum la, jiwa xberapa nk kacau sgt sekarang..jadi xperlu la sgt nk meluahkan perasaan. Just left 1 week for me in Terengganu. Hurm~I'm gonna miss here, really. :) Actually, nak kata sedih xla sgt..just one word keep playing in my head "HOME" xsabar nk balik rumah!
"A white coat isn't just a white coat". Ooops~mcm kenal ayat ni??haha. sory, copy paste from Puan Seri Datin Saiyidatul Shufwah. ngeh2. Selama berpraktikal di Terengganu as a student dietitian, I got so many title here. Dr, pharmacist...dan tidak ada satu pon dietitian. sobs~;(
Ini adalah kenyataannya, bila pakai je white coat..ramai yg akan tersalah anggap! LOL~
Sebab student dietitian pon akan pakai white coat bila naik ke wad, jadi akn bercampur aduk la semua kakitangan hospital bila berada dlm wad yg sama. ada dr, pharmacist, physio,dan x kurang jugak dietitian. Hihi. yg lawak nya, bila ak naik wad..ada jugak yg panggil ak dr. oh ho! segan gila. hari tu, ada sorg makcik ni..dia staff nurse. Ak just tanya "bed ticket mana ye kak?" jawabnya "Oh, dr..kejap nya..nanti saya tnya adik nurse yg praktikal tu. Maka, bersungguh-sungguh la makcik nurse itu mencari2 bed ticket yg ak nak. "Macam mana ak nk ckp ak bukan dr ni???" Then, dia dtg sekali lagi.."Dr, xde la. maybe ada dgn Sister kot, dr try tanya kt dalam" Ak bermonolog sendiri2, cewwah "oih, sedar diri! ko bukan dr..cpt ckp ngn makcik tu!!"hee,saya bukan dr..saya dietitian" word student ak hilangkan ikot suka hati ak je. Muka makcik tu mcm terkejot! "Oh, yeke? xpela dik, mcm dr jugak la nanti" Hihi. xmahu dipanjangkan cerita, ak pon balas je dgn senyuman je. :)
Bila naik ward jugak, even student nurse yg maybe ada di antara sebaya dgn ak pon memanggil ak dr. Omaigoddd!!! tua sgt ke ak ni??? sedih la.lama-kelamaan, ak jadi sebal bila dipanggil dr. Dr2 yg real kat wad tu mesti dah mengutuk dalam hati. Senang2 je dpt title free of charge lagi. Oooops! Bukan salah kami sebenarnya. ;p
Bila berada dalam ward mengadap lappy untuk membuat note after see the patient, para dr. pasti akan memandang pelik kat ak. Dan common question is "Pharmacist ke??" Dan, ada sekali dr bertanya my dietitian..jawab dietitian ak "Eh, tu student saya" Bwahahaha. nak tergelak ak bila dgr camtu. Then, dietitian ak pulak usik2 cakap ak muka pharmacist! Oh, damn! I wanna be a dietitian. Not doctor or pharmacist. Then, why would they look at me not as a student??? I really hate of being mature, actually. sobs~
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
I really can't understand (#_#)
Yo! :)
Buy present for my friends (DONE)
After a hectic day yesterday and op kos la today..today was my case presentation! Omaaigood! Hanya Allah je yg tahu perasaan ak macam mana. Jantung nak burst macam nk terkeluar semua aorta, artery...
2 days before presentation, bole plak tertinggal slide dgn berukbang kat opis. Dem! So, bersenang-lenang la ak 2 days ago. Then, semalam baru bertungkus-lumus menyiap dan membetulkan slide. Dengan xcukop tido, bgn pagi..really delirium dowh! Melayang2 je ase. Apa-apa jadi ak just redha e untuk presentation hari ni. Ak selalu je doa agar lembutkan hati dietitian ak.hik3..supaya mereka x tanya banyak soklan sgt!
Then, done with my presentation on 3.30 pm. Yes. I actually did not really satisfied with it. I don't even know on how to do the best for the management. Bila melihatkan dietitian mengelengkan kepala, ok..it's really dissapointed me. Luckily, they did not give me any uncomfortable expression. Even though, they did not ask me many question..I really wonder what they think about my presentation. Bored?? Owh, please. I just don't wanna think about that. But, I really need to take it all the comment at positive side. My partner was so good. I can see huge differences between us. Ok, dah. Stop kat sini. Let it go. :)
Reward for myself, I bought another new dress. Really, this dress are meant for me. Haha. This morning, it sold out already. When I look at back, it still available. Oh ho, sometimes..we should reward ourself no matter how good or bad we perform, right?? :)
Wishlist:
Gosh! I really love Rilakkuma Bear. But, I bought it for my friend. hik3~ cute! Someone, please give me one!
Buy my mom dress/clothes for this upcoming raya (Must do it!!!!!)
Saturday, October 13, 2012
please, be strong
It's a day for my Dietetics senior today. Today was a big day for them. Congratulations for your convocation day! I am happy for all of you. :) I just wonder will I able to be like them? Yes. I should. They all also like me. Had been going through all sort of things. It's just a part of learning.
I bet, they even had their up and down. Same goes with me.
Actually, when I look at them..I meant their pictures of convocation, I always hope to be one of them soon. After all those hardships that my friends and I had been through, I wish we all could enjoy that moment to the fullest. All our hard work should be paid off. We all learn on how to survive on our own without any assistance from others. We've been scolded because of our mistakes. Sometimes, I felt like giving up. But, no matter when I tried to do so, luckily I have friends by my side to keep encouraging me and lift up my spirit. Back then, I did not know on how to express my feeling to others. But now, I tried to put trust to others, let it my feeling. Woah! Luckily, I could feel some relieve from that. Thanks friend!
And, not to forget..the mind of my family, on how my parents would be sad if they know my condition. Yes. Being an eldest in the family is such a big responsibility and not to exaggerate..it's quite a burden for me actually. I need to show a good example to my younger sister and brothers. I need to show them that we should be successful in what ever we do. That is why, until now..I keep trying from the state I fall behind and tried to get up to continue my journey even though I did not know it is right for me or not. But, Allah had everything planned for us, right? We just need to believe that this is already planned for us.
Please, wahai diri! Be strong! Don't ever compare yourself with someone. It's not your fault if things did not turn up like you wanted it to be. Just let it slide away. But, remember..all those are experience for you. So that, you will not repeat it again and again. It's not wrong to learn from the mistakes.
This week is going to be a tough week. Let's pray that I can face it easily, happily~
Friday, October 12, 2012
Randomness: Hati wanita
Semalam, balik je dari koje kol 4, teros masok rumah dan bukak lappy. Ok, itu la rutin sehari-hari ku bila tgh internship ni. and it's weekend. I'm going to spend it alone as a Lone Ranger! huk huk~ Frankly speaking, I really like working environment here where the dietitians are really friendly and sporting. Compared to before, I like it here so much! The problem is I did not really like my living situation here where I did not have any friend or companion. Even, my current partner always back home. So, I stayed alone in this empty house. Hanya berbekalkan toto, lappy + berokbang yg slow mcm siput bab* dan jugak handphone yg xde byk fungsinya. It's not that I'm not grateful with what I have now. It just my feeling when I felt lonely. Yes! I really hate loneliness.
Ok. sambung cerita. bila balik, bukak lappy, bukak FB. Tetiba terbaca my aunt punya post. Bunyinya lebih kureng cmni la. "Smlm aisy mengamuk xblh lena..bagi susu xmau.Mama ulik tido pn xmau nangis je.Abah amik dodoi smbil dukung baru senyap...lena.Cian abah ngntuk.Pg nie abah pi keja lmbat kul9.Sedih mama tgk aisy mcm ni.Dh laa smlm call mak,mak nangis teringat dkt Aisy.Mama sndiri pn teringat kt mak jgk.Rasa lolo tu jgk nk balik kg."
**oopsss, tercopy my aunt punya post. sorry Sue. hik3~ok. Bukan hapa, bila ak baca je post, ak teros nanges. mencurah2 air mata. Bila baca kali kedua pon, still nanges. Part yg nenek ak nanges teringatkan cucu yg buat ak sebak. Sebab ak pon agak rapat dgn nenek ak. Sejak kecil smp besar pon duduk ngn nenek. Banyak kenangan dgn nenek ak ni.
**oopsss, tercopy my aunt punya post. sorry Sue. hik3~ok. Bukan hapa, bila ak baca je post, ak teros nanges. mencurah2 air mata. Bila baca kali kedua pon, still nanges. Part yg nenek ak nanges teringatkan cucu yg buat ak sebak. Sebab ak pon agak rapat dgn nenek ak. Sejak kecil smp besar pon duduk ngn nenek. Banyak kenangan dgn nenek ak ni.
Bila mak ak cerita kat ak, ada satu hari..nenek ak sedih sebab anak2 dan cucu2 dia xde pon call dia kt kg. Sambil nanges2 luah perasaan dekat mak ak, mak ak pon sama2 nanges. Yeah, hati perempuan memang sgt lembut. ak gelak2 jugak bila dgr cerita tu, tapi dalam hati sebak beb! Nenek ckp kat mak ak, dia syg ak lebih dari dia syg makcik ak. Ak dgr cam terkejot. yeke nek?? hoho. dah la ak nk call nenek pon malas. rasa cam bersalah bila dgr nenek ckp camtu. sob sob~itu sebab kalo ak balik rumah, nenek ak kan tnya bila nk balik kg. dah xingat kg ke??? hik3~that's sweet! kalo ak ada cuti 10 hari, terpaksa bahagikan..5hari dekat rumah, 5 hari lagi kt kg. That's how I live my life. ;) I have a sweet mother and lovable grandmother. Bila nk bawak calon hubby, kena tunjuk kat dua2 mam ni dulu for approval.haha. ;p
Dolu, ingat lagi..before ak dpt msok UPM. time tu tgh break after habes matriculation..masa tu, rumah nenek ngah wat renovation. dolu rumah papan, ni renovate jadi rumah besi. eh?? rumah batu la. renovation tu buat separuh2, sebab kalo runtuhkan semua rumah, jawabnya nenek dan atok ak nak duduk mana? xde rumah kosong yg terdekat. So, part ruang tamu dulu diruntuhkan. Nak jadi satu cerita, ada satu malam ni..nenek ak nak g toilet..tapi route nak g ke dapur tu kena lalu bahagian ruang tamu yg dah siap diruntuhkan tu. HAHA. punya la nenek ak bgn tido, mamai2..xingat pon part yg dah diruntuhkan tu. Tut! Tut! tetiba terdengar bunyi suara nenek ak. "Ayu wei!!!! Adoih, jatuh doh mok ni" ak teros bangun dan tgk nenek ak. tengok2 dah kat bawah dah. adoih. lawak2 jugak tapi dalam hati risau. hehe. naseb bek nenek ak xde pape. Alhamdulillah.
Then, kalau ak kt kg..maka, officially ak akn jadi driver terhormat nenek ak. Bawak dia nk p mana. Sebab nenek ak ni suka berjalan, jadi kerja sehari-hari ak adalah berjalan jugak bersama nenek. Even malam sekalipon, ada je tempat nenek ak nk pegi. Bila pergi berjalan2 jumpa saudara-mara, maka akan bergaul la ak dgn makcik pakcik. haha. That's what makes me look mature, huh? Tapi, still ak x reti nk build relationship with elders.
***To be continued
p/s: Please, atol..don't pity me.ahaks~
Thursday, October 11, 2012
syndrome M.A.L.A.S
It's weeeeekeeeeeend here! Yeay!!!!*sambil melompat-lompat mcm kangarooo*
Oh gosh! Ak malas gila neyh beb! Nex week ada presentation, slide xbuat lagi. Bila tgk si SH tu dah buat smp separuh, ak wat muka toye je. Buat muka ileks. Sebab nk wat time weekend. Bila tiba weekend, kemalasan gila nih. Adoih! Syaitan malas mana ni sdg merasok ak!!! Pegi maen jaoh2. ;p
Ingat lagi first presentation, dem! Dah la xbuat yg terbaik, naseb baek xde markah. Tapi, xtahu apa dietitian punya impression kat ak. Ak ni dah la pemalas, x proactive..hadoi! tensen seyh! Koje ak malam2 adalah membazirkan masa yg berharga itu!
Duduk sorang2, boring giler! xde kawan.sobs~dah la homesick! nak nanges!! uwaaa~ Si SH ni mentang2 la rumah dia dekat, tiap2 minggu balik rumah. Haish~ada ak kesah??? kalo ko ada pon, bukan kita dok melepak sama2 pong!dush~haha.masing2 dok dalam bilik. Jumpa2 nya pagi esok nk g hospital. It's because we are not compatible enough, bwahahahahaha. Am I bad?? Yes, I am.
Ok. dah merapu yg bukan2 dan membebel benda yg x berfaedah pon. Let's start working on slide presentation. May Allah ease everything for me!
Kuatkan semangat!!!!!!!!!!Fighting~~
Oh gosh! Ak malas gila neyh beb! Nex week ada presentation, slide xbuat lagi. Bila tgk si SH tu dah buat smp separuh, ak wat muka toye je. Buat muka ileks. Sebab nk wat time weekend. Bila tiba weekend, kemalasan gila nih. Adoih! Syaitan malas mana ni sdg merasok ak!!! Pegi maen jaoh2. ;p
Ingat lagi first presentation, dem! Dah la xbuat yg terbaik, naseb baek xde markah. Tapi, xtahu apa dietitian punya impression kat ak. Ak ni dah la pemalas, x proactive..hadoi! tensen seyh! Koje ak malam2 adalah membazirkan masa yg berharga itu!
Duduk sorang2, boring giler! xde kawan.sobs~dah la homesick! nak nanges!! uwaaa~ Si SH ni mentang2 la rumah dia dekat, tiap2 minggu balik rumah. Haish~ada ak kesah??? kalo ko ada pon, bukan kita dok melepak sama2 pong!dush~haha.masing2 dok dalam bilik. Jumpa2 nya pagi esok nk g hospital. It's because we are not compatible enough, bwahahahahaha. Am I bad?? Yes, I am.
Ok. dah merapu yg bukan2 dan membebel benda yg x berfaedah pon. Let's start working on slide presentation. May Allah ease everything for me!
Kuatkan semangat!!!!!!!!!!Fighting~~
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Things I wanna get/do
First thing. Of course la graduation day that I eagerly waiting for it. But, I need to endure this long journey of internship first. Let's wait for that.. next year, 2013^^
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| Hope I would be like them. :) |
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| Please, let me have u baby! ;p |
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| Pulau Perhentian. I wanna see clear crystal sea water and experience snorkeling thingy! |
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| USS. Heard this is a great place to visit. |
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| I should learn to speak Korea language. Annyonghaseyo! |
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| Yeah, will grab it soon or later! |
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| Smart enough, huh? I like these kind of sporty feeling. |
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| I would like to work together with my family member. :) |
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| It doesn't have to be like this. Just a sweet house for me is enough. ;) |
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| I wanna jump like this! Yeeaaahhh! |
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| A great hubby, a lovely me, an adorable daughter & a tough son! |
**This wishlist inspired by the drama plot in "Scent of Women".
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
darjat dan pangkat.. penting ke???
Yo! Wassup~
Itu hari, ak penah terbaca dkt FB..ada org post mcm ni..
Zaman dolu2:
bila nk pilih menantu..bakal mertua akan tnya mcm ni "Dah abes baca Quran? Solat cukup 5 waktu?"
Tapi, zaman sekarang berbeza plak senario nya..
bila nk pilih menantu..bakal mertua akan tnya mcm ni "Dah keje? Keje apa? Gaji berapa?" LOL!
Ak paling xsuka kalo org kesah sgt bab status dan pangkat ni. Kenapa kita nak bezakan diri kita dgn org lain walhal di sisi Allah, kita hanyalah insan kerdil yg x bermaya pon! Kaya ke, miskin ke, pandai ke, bodoh, cantik dan hodoh..semua tu ciptaan Allah. Dan ak plg anti kalo ad org pandang dan observe someone dr atas ke bwh. Kalo tgk someone pakai yg branded cikit, sebok la dok tanya keje hape..mesti kaya..busybody betol la org mcm ni..kenapa?ingat org kaya je ke yg bole pkai branded thingy?? kalo org tu miskin pon, xbole ke dorg pakai branded thingy?? haish~xpaham dgn manusia yg sebok mementingkan harta, pangkat dan status ni! Memang la semua tu penting di zaman IT serba boleh ni. Tapi, agak2 la. xpayah la nk judge org based on their appearance solely. ok! ;p
Itu hari, ak penah terbaca dkt FB..ada org post mcm ni..
Zaman dolu2:
bila nk pilih menantu..bakal mertua akan tnya mcm ni "Dah abes baca Quran? Solat cukup 5 waktu?"
Tapi, zaman sekarang berbeza plak senario nya..
bila nk pilih menantu..bakal mertua akan tnya mcm ni "Dah keje? Keje apa? Gaji berapa?" LOL!
Ak paling xsuka kalo org kesah sgt bab status dan pangkat ni. Kenapa kita nak bezakan diri kita dgn org lain walhal di sisi Allah, kita hanyalah insan kerdil yg x bermaya pon! Kaya ke, miskin ke, pandai ke, bodoh, cantik dan hodoh..semua tu ciptaan Allah. Dan ak plg anti kalo ad org pandang dan observe someone dr atas ke bwh. Kalo tgk someone pakai yg branded cikit, sebok la dok tanya keje hape..mesti kaya..busybody betol la org mcm ni..kenapa?ingat org kaya je ke yg bole pkai branded thingy?? kalo org tu miskin pon, xbole ke dorg pakai branded thingy?? haish~xpaham dgn manusia yg sebok mementingkan harta, pangkat dan status ni! Memang la semua tu penting di zaman IT serba boleh ni. Tapi, agak2 la. xpayah la nk judge org based on their appearance solely. ok! ;p
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Hari ni, as usual..abes keje kol 5 ptg. Then, ak dan kwn ak pegi mkn. For the first time in my life, I eat Somtam! HAHA. kelakar gila. macam org asli baru keluar bandar ada jugak. Sbab xpenah jmpa pon benda ni. *ececeh* sebenarnya ak yg xsuka nk try benda baru. Just stick to same thing je.
Then, hari ni baru try si Somtam ni..sodap!!;) |
| Somtam or nama glamornya Green Papaya Salad! |
Dolu dan sekarang, ak suka ni..
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| Tomyam la bro! Fuh.kalo kena yg pedas & masam..kecuk air liuq ni!
A bit info about Somtam:
Green papaya salad is a Northeastern Thai / Lao / Cambodian spicy salad made from shredded unripe papaya. Locally known as som tam. The dish combines the four main tastes of the local cuisine: sour lime, hot chili, salty, savory fish sauce, and sweetness added by palm sugar. The ingredients are mixed and pounded in a mortar. Despite the use of papaya, which one may think of as sweet, this salad is actually savory. When not yet ripe, papaya has a slightly tangy flavor. The texture is crisp and firm, sometimes to the point of crunchiness.
Dietitian advice: It's a good salad! But, people with hypertension need to be cautious due to salt content. Enjoy it!
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Monday, October 8, 2012
time to take care of my face!
okes. nak dijadikan cerita, beberapa hari yg lepas..my uncle ada tegor saya "Awat Ayu cam Kenchana Dewi dah tgk..gelap semacam je" Deng! jawab ak "lorh, biasa la..dok Ganu..kena angin pantai..sebab tu jadi gelap ni" HAHAHA. Tetiba salahkan angin pantai. Padahal kulit gua dah mmg gelap! Hish~bukan gelap, sawo matang jas! kih3~ Tapi, atas keazaman yg tinggi..ak nekad untuk start to take care of my face. Sebab dimple pon dah byk menumpang kat pipi ak nih. Jadi, ak kena ambil langkah proaktif sikit! Sebelom terlambat! Dolu, ak stat guna Irise..bagos produk ni..hilang kot jerawat ak. yeke??ntah la..ak pon xsure itu adalah effect ak memakai Irise or mende lain. sbb byk sgt produk ak pakai. xtahu mana satu yg effective. But, really..Irise ok la. My friend ada jugak pakai..bole la nmpk perubahan pada wajahnya. ececeh~jd promoter x berbayar. ;p
So, start from today..we, girl should take care of our face! daaaa~
So, start from today..we, girl should take care of our face! daaaa~
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| Irise Intensive White Facial Cleanser |
A gentle cleanser to remove dirt and excess oil from your face without leaving it feeling dry and taut. Ideal for all skin types.
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| Irise Intensive White Exfoliating Gel |
A premium exfoliating gel to exfoliate dead cells and blackheads on your face for a cleaner and smoother skin.Enriched with Daisy Flower Extract to lighten your skin and Mushroom Extract to tighten your skin pores to improve your skin tone and firmness.
p/s: Now, I use these two products. Not know its effectiveness yet! (*_*)
Sunday, October 7, 2012
fatigue
Today was a bad day...
Not because of anyone else, but myself. Semalam baru je balik dari Kelate. Sampai sini pukul 8 mlm. Atas bas, ak dah xlena tido memikirkan mcm mana nk balik ke rumah sewa. Is it taxi still available or not?? Then, bila sampai..Alhamdulillah..ak teros p serang stesen teksi. Fuh! Nasib bek ada lagi. Takot gila beb bila terpaksa merantau malam2..dah la sorg..sobs~Dan ak collapse awal gila.tersedar pukul 2 dan 5 am because of diarrhea. Woah! Challenging.
Pegi keje, physically and mentally was really not prepared. Ak xlarat gila ni. Diarrhea + otak blurrr mcm hape da. Adoih! Hari ni dah la pegi Paeds Ward. Satu habuk pon x prepare! Pape jadi, ak redha je hari ni. (~_~). Luckily, my dietitian was really kind! I hope she will continue being like that till the end of my attachment with her. ;p
Naseb bek ptg ada CDE & CME. We discussed about surgical and IBS aka Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Belaja pasal FODMAP! ak ingat FOODMAP! Oh Ho!!! Bila dietitian tanya "Penah dgr x FODMAP ni?" ak dengan bangganya jawab "Penah!!!" Bila tgk slide..alahai tersalah baca ingat FOODMAP. Deng! Mestila xpenah dengar. hak3.
What is FODMAP??
F: Fermentable
O: Oligosaccahrides
D: Disaccharides
M: Monosaccharides
A: And
P: Polyols
**A low FODMAP diet is recommended for people who suffer from symptoms of IBS. Any additional information, you can read here!
http://ibs.about.com/od/ibsfood/a/The-FODMAP-Diet.htm
**Because there are many restriction of foods for high FODMAP, the individualized nutritional management should be done for patient with IBS. Some food maybe tolerable and did not give any effect, but the quantity of food taken should be experimented by trial and error for some individual to see the effectiveness and effect to some individual.
Then, dgr satu talk about nutrition after surgical. Ada satu Dr bagi talk ini. Namanya Dr Rohaizi. At first, I didn't give any attention to that. Because of so cold, I felt sooo sleepy. Then, bila lama2 dgr suara Dr.Rohaizi ni, tetiba cam familiar. Ak tersentak! Ak tgk sekali lagi nama dia. Dr Rohaizi bt Ismail! Oh! Paksu Izi! My distant relative!! Dolu2, time ak darjah 6..ak ingat lagi dia penah ajar math kat ktorg for UPSR. Time tu dia still study at Ireland, balik time break..then, jadi cikgu sambilan ajar kelas malam untuk ktorg budak darjah 6. Haha. Patotla suara cam familiar. Tapi, ak xtegor pon dia! Sebab ak pikir dia mesti xingat ak. Sobs~ padahal saudara gak walaupun bau2 bacang!
Not because of anyone else, but myself. Semalam baru je balik dari Kelate. Sampai sini pukul 8 mlm. Atas bas, ak dah xlena tido memikirkan mcm mana nk balik ke rumah sewa. Is it taxi still available or not?? Then, bila sampai..Alhamdulillah..ak teros p serang stesen teksi. Fuh! Nasib bek ada lagi. Takot gila beb bila terpaksa merantau malam2..dah la sorg..sobs~Dan ak collapse awal gila.tersedar pukul 2 dan 5 am because of diarrhea. Woah! Challenging.
Pegi keje, physically and mentally was really not prepared. Ak xlarat gila ni. Diarrhea + otak blurrr mcm hape da. Adoih! Hari ni dah la pegi Paeds Ward. Satu habuk pon x prepare! Pape jadi, ak redha je hari ni. (~_~). Luckily, my dietitian was really kind! I hope she will continue being like that till the end of my attachment with her. ;p
Naseb bek ptg ada CDE & CME. We discussed about surgical and IBS aka Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Belaja pasal FODMAP! ak ingat FOODMAP! Oh Ho!!! Bila dietitian tanya "Penah dgr x FODMAP ni?" ak dengan bangganya jawab "Penah!!!" Bila tgk slide..alahai tersalah baca ingat FOODMAP. Deng! Mestila xpenah dengar. hak3.
What is FODMAP??
F: Fermentable
O: Oligosaccahrides
D: Disaccharides
M: Monosaccharides
A: And
P: Polyols
**A low FODMAP diet is recommended for people who suffer from symptoms of IBS. Any additional information, you can read here!
http://ibs.about.com/od/ibsfood/a/The-FODMAP-Diet.htm
**Because there are many restriction of foods for high FODMAP, the individualized nutritional management should be done for patient with IBS. Some food maybe tolerable and did not give any effect, but the quantity of food taken should be experimented by trial and error for some individual to see the effectiveness and effect to some individual.
***********************Done with sharing knowledge!**************************
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
xdak jodoh!
**sambungan entry Raging Hormone**
kah3. entry gataaiii je sejak akhir2 ni..ok..setelah beberapa hari x terserempak dgn Dr F dekat ward, so, mood xbape nk baik punya. haha. ALASAN! hari ni lagi la, disebabkan semua dietitian ada meeting..so, ak memang xnaik ward. dok je melepak kat opis. buku log dibuang entah ke mana. sudah bape minggu ak dah miss tulis case. serabut dgn case study yg xsetel lagi. tinggal nex week je ntok prepare for everything. Dem!
Tut! Tut! 3 weeks more at HSNZ..perasaan bercampur antara sedih + suka + malas!
Tadi masa tgh screening patient untuk dijadikan case study..ak usha2 kat Ward CRW aka Cardiology Ward. Popppp! Tetiba ternampak nama dr yang incharge patient itu agak familiar. Huh! Dr F rupanya. haih. xdpt nk tolong. dah la mggu ni dah last kat ward tu! *sob sob* memang xde jodoh! hihihihi. ok la. bye Dr F! :) I just maen2 dgn u! haha.
**********************Kisah Dr F TAMAT sampai di sini sahaja*********************
kah3. entry gataaiii je sejak akhir2 ni..ok..setelah beberapa hari x terserempak dgn Dr F dekat ward, so, mood xbape nk baik punya. haha. ALASAN! hari ni lagi la, disebabkan semua dietitian ada meeting..so, ak memang xnaik ward. dok je melepak kat opis. buku log dibuang entah ke mana. sudah bape minggu ak dah miss tulis case. serabut dgn case study yg xsetel lagi. tinggal nex week je ntok prepare for everything. Dem!
Tut! Tut! 3 weeks more at HSNZ..perasaan bercampur antara sedih + suka + malas!
Tadi masa tgh screening patient untuk dijadikan case study..ak usha2 kat Ward CRW aka Cardiology Ward. Popppp! Tetiba ternampak nama dr yang incharge patient itu agak familiar. Huh! Dr F rupanya. haih. xdpt nk tolong. dah la mggu ni dah last kat ward tu! *sob sob* memang xde jodoh! hihihihi. ok la. bye Dr F! :) I just maen2 dgn u! haha.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Purest people in the world
Hari ni, my first time going to NICU (Neonate Intensive Care Unit). Alahai..comel nya baby ni. Semua kecik2 dan rata-ratanya prem baby. Bila tgk wayar2 berselirat kt bdn mereka ni, kesian giler. Ada jumpa sorg baby ni, she's 7mo..but, she was like newborn baby! Her current BW just 1.87 kg. Ommaiii... really small meh. Dengan mata nya yg besar, sambil hisap2 ibu jari. I can't describe it with word except for being mesmerized by them. Hope they will get well soon and be a good child! :)
Tetiba teringat kat my baby kat kampong! Muhammad Aisy Zaffran. hihi. dah besar dah my baby ni. Neh, kakak ada beli hadiah untuk baby Aisy. Jumpa this Thursday, InsyaAllah :)
Tetiba teringat kat my baby kat kampong! Muhammad Aisy Zaffran. hihi. dah besar dah my baby ni. Neh, kakak ada beli hadiah untuk baby Aisy. Jumpa this Thursday, InsyaAllah :)
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| Grow up quickly! ;) |
Monday, October 1, 2012
Be Positive!
"You need to build on your success and learn from your mistakes"
Yes. Today, as usual my life as a student dietitian still go on with counselling with patient and doing nutrition prescription. I really hate counselling part where I need to talk. It's not that I hate to talk with patient..but, I really lack of skill to communicate with people. I did not know on how to cut people's word when they are still speaking. Because I found that it's very harsh. And I end up listening to their words. Then, my dietitian will end up commenting on me. O yeah. That's life. Learn from the mistakes. I was lucky because my dietitian was so kind to me even though I'm kind of blur and lack in many things. I hope they don't compare me with my partner. Because I really hate when people keep comparing myself with others.
Today's comment from dietitian:
" Awak punya kaunseling memang lemah lagi. Berterabur..confidence level tu dah ada. Tapi, xpe la..saya faham, awak pon still student. Kena banyakkan membaca, luaskan pandangan"
Yeah! I'll try to improve myself by taking it at positive side. Everybody makes mistakes. But, we need to learn from that mistakes and not repeat it again and again. Wish me luck in what ever I do. :)
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